I know it’s less than a week since you started this thread and I’m not too surprised that you havn’t told your partner yet.
However, as you’re probably experiencing, the longer you postpone it the harder it’s going to be.
There is no easy way to tell him, but don’t be under any illusions he probably has a good idea already, he may also want to ask you about it, but dosn’t want to “upset the apple cart”.
If you genuinely do want to leave your addiction in the past, then complete honesty is the only way to achieve that. Starting with self honesty. You know if the reasons you cited were just excuses or not.
You’ll only have to do this once and hopefully lots of good will come out of it for both of you.
If you don’t do it, or keep delaying it nothing good will come out of it. That’s a fact.
You say you love this man. Well living a lie is not the way to show it. Honesty and respect are.
You know that you need to tell him, you posted to ask the best way to go about it, not as to whether you should or not.
You’re now 4 weeks gambling free, (well done 🙂 )have you put any precautions in place to protect your money from your addiction?
I know from many years of gambling, and trying to quit, experience. That if you havn’t told him before you next get paid and you’ve not put any fundamental barriers in place to safeguard your money, you are treading on very thin ice. Just suppose you gambled again, you’d then have a lot more to tell him.
You are not being fair to him or yourself by putting this off. Not to mention your clients, I cant imagine its easy to stay focused on your clients problems if your head is consumed with your own.
The advice from Vera is tip top, no point telling half a tale..get it all out, once its out, its out.
I wouldn’t for one minute re-consider telling him. I’ve never known of any gambling addict being able to secretly gamble then secretly quit gambling and then secretly pay off stupid amounts of debt. It just wouldn’t be possible in recovery. I do know of many that have tried, and failed, and have then had to come clean about a whole lot more, it’s not worth the risk.
As a counsellor you know the benefit of opening up. You just need to find that courage once.
I hope you find the courage today.
Wishing you well.
Geordie.