Hi Tina,
I’m grateful to have read your posts. You seem like a good person who unfortunately has a bad addiction. Please read some of my story and you’ll see I share the addiction. I also know what it feels like to live a life of a lie.
I think that you probably should tell him that you have this issue for many reasons. But if you can quit and repay all your debt then I’m not sure why you have too. If that makes sense… I guess he could find out and then you’d have to tell him. I’m just saying… The most important thing is that you quit. You mentioned that he texted some other girl and you found out… To me that means there is already some basic trouble in the relationship and that you really need to worry about yourself.
I would again suggest that you do tell him so you have to be accountable to someone. Being accountable and having to turn over finances is helpful in the recovery process.
Gambling relapses are really different than quitting gambling. The question I have for you is are you not gambling and going to relapse or are you not gambling anymore?
When reading your posts you asked if you are making excuses… I’m not the guy who knows that but I can answer the question based on the way I read it and the answer is that you are. Maybe not making excuses but you’re not just owning your gambling problem. Maybe you have triggers and you can recognize that but ultimately you are the problem and chose to gamble and to gamble at a highly destructible rate. It’s important to know what triggers you so you can get help from a professional and deal with those feelings and emotions though.
I agree that if you have and want to tall him that you approach it as I have a problem and I have a plan. I’ve done research, etc., and what that plan is. A plan to honest, a plan to pay back the money, a plan to recover, and a plan to regain trust. And the most important thing. That you have a plan for yourself to love yourself again.
You can get yourself back. It’s a slow process and requires a lot of work. You can do this Tina.
