Hi Tillow
I think and hope that going to GA will be the turning point for your partner; this site and GA exist because controlling the addiction to gamble requires the right support – did he try and do it on his own before? There is no cure for this addiction but I wouldn’t be writing to you if I didn’t know that it can be controlled and wonderful lives lived as a result. The relapse he has had does not have to be viewed completely negatively – often a CG working through a slip will be stronger.
I hear nothing selfish in you wanting to focus on school for the next 6 months – in fact it is what I would have suggested to you. You worrying about his addiction won’t make a scrap of difference to his outcome but keeping yourself healthy and refusing to allow his addiction to bring you down will be the best thing you can do for him, yourself and your child.
Worrying about the future at the moment will only cloud your judgement and mess up your chances of a good dissertation – we can only live one day at a time. I found the following has helped me many times to stay focused
YESTERDAY, TODAY, AND TOMORROW.
There are two days in every week about which we should not worry: two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.
One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. We cannot undo a single act we performed. We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.
The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise or poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.
Tomorrow’s sun will rise, either in splendour or behind a mask of clouds – but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.
This leaves only one day – TODAY. Any person can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of these two awful eternities – yesterday and tomorrow – that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives people mad – it is the remorse or bitterness of something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Let us, therefore, LIVE BUT ONE DAY AT A TIME.
Keep posting and maybe pop into the F&F group – you will always be welcome.
Velvet