Hi Tami
You are right; feeding a compulsive gambler with sweet words only enables the addiction to grow and changes nothing for the better.
Why does your boyfriend not want to go to Gamblers Anonymous (GA)? Admitting he has a problem is a step in the right direction but sadly words come easy and only action brings about real change.
I suggest your boyfriend doesn’t want to seek help because he doesn’t want to stop gambling but he wants you to stay with him – possibly for enablement. He has stolen from you and others and unless he is taking responsibility for these thefts he has no reason to stop gambling.
Many compulsive gamblers do not accept they have a real problem until they hurt themselves enough
GPs do not necessarily understand addiction, there is no medication to stop a CG from indulging his addiction – only acceptance and action changes anything.
I suggest that you protect your finances, set up a private account for you for which he has no access or knowledge, keep your pin safe and protect your personal possessions. I suggest you find a Gam-Anon group, the sister group of Gamblers Anonymous and seek physical support for yourself.
In my opinion, it might be good to tell your boyfriend that you are taking his addiction seriously even if he will not. We have a helpline on this site for you and also for your boyfriend. As he believes that he can handle his addiction himself then communicating with our Helpline anonymously will cost him nothing but it would be good for him to know how hard (impossible) this is.
I believe that you are young, you do not deserve to have your money stolen and your life disrupted by your boyfriend’s addiction. I know he can control his addiction Tami but he has to want to do so.
Please post again
Velvet
