Hi Sweet
It is common among all of us who love compulsive gamblers to feel that ‘our love’ will conquer all but sadly it is not a solution to the addiction to gamble. ‘Our love’ can cause us to overlook the dangers and in many cases result in many days, months and years of doing all the wrong things for all the right reasons.
Unfortunately many F&F have heard the word ‘suicide’ and felt the terrifying pressure from the word – sadly it can often cause the wrong reaction. It can be felt that if bad behaviour is overlooked then, maybe, the CG will feel less desperate – but it is the continuing gambling that causes the desperation and no amount of overlooking bad behaviour will change that.
Has your fiancé tried returning to his rehab to ask for further support? Rehabs, certainly in the UK, will be supportive even after a person has left because it stands to reason that not all those who attend the programme will be instantly gamble-free – there is no magic solution. A rehab gives the CG the tools of recovery but cannot make them use them. If the dedication is not there from the CG then there will be relapses but rehabs want to see those who attend them succeed and if it takes a bit longer to get the light switched on, then that is understood.
I cannot tell you what to do but clearing the debts of a CG only enables the CG to gamble further – as soon as the debt is cleared then the clean slate is an open invitation to indulge the addiction further.
When you fiancé has left himself without money for food what has been your response? Giving cash to a CG is the same as giving a drink to an alcoholic. If you feed him then, in my opinion, it should only be the basics.
I will leave this reply to you here and wait for you to update.
Velvet