My sister was dying of brain cancer when I was at the height of my addiction.
In the last week of her life the family spent the week with her at home. She didn’t want to leave and fought with every breath in her body. On the day, the last day of her life, I went to see her. I spent a measly 30 minutes with her because I had been gambling beforehand and of course I didn’t want to stop. I stayed until there was nothing left and then went to see my dying biggest sister (I have 3 sisters).
I had to be home to pick up my daughter from school. It was a 30 minute drive from my sisters house to mine.
So, my sister, on her last day got 30 minutes of my time.
This is my biggest gambling regret. I cannot change what happened. It didn’t mean I didn’t love her any less. I was out of control with an addiction that was soul destroying.
I have forgiven myself. I know that if I had been ‘normal’ this wouldn’t have happened.
You can change what happens today Stephen.
You can change what happens right now.
You are not a bad person. You are not responsible for your addiction, but you are responsible for your recovery.
I wish you all the very best, You can live a life gamble free.
Love K xx
