Hi some of you may remember some not … some wont even know me. But I came to this site last year in the depths of despair. Truly the darkest period of my life where suicide seemed like a very reasonable and desired option.
I fought back as I know all of you here are doing. And am finally in the process of rebuilding. 3rd time of trying!
There is way through this addiction and even though it is a cliche … if I can do then trust me anyone can!!! I am as my name implys Nobody. But today I value life and value what I have. I think about gambling … I think about my addiction … and the urges come …. and then I stop.
I have a contract I am working on and hope to have my new company set up by the end of this year … (so long as I work through a total mess with HMRC) but it does not scare me as it used. Focus on the solution and not the problems.
I know some of you are going through hell right now. And I know for some it will feel as if there is no end in sight … But please try gain some hope from my wretched story. I have a long way to go … but I feel at peace and I feel energized again like I have not in over 4 years!
I miss hanging out here … and I miss all the good people whom I met and who were here for me when I fell and fell again. I am at the moment a terrible communicator as I am so wrapped up with things going on in my life. And I apologize for this.
I really want you all here to beat this awful debilitating addiction. I never will personally beat it … I have accepted that. I will always be an addict. But I hope an addict who can continue to say that “today I wont gamble”
Kudos to you all!!!
JN.