So sorry both you and your son find yourselves in the grips of compulsive gambling. It’s heart wrenching to stand by and helplessly watch your child destroy themselves.
You ask … “how can you know if they are lying”? What I found works is if you can get yourself to a point where what they are saying is irrelevant. While in active addiction it’s very difficult to believe anything. Try not to put yourself in a position where they can lie to you. As Velvet says their actions will speak louder than their words.
I tried to be proactive deciding on how I wanted MY life to look (boundaries that worked for me) rather than reactive whereby picking up the pieces and having my CG pulling all the strings.None of it’s easy but rather putting all your energies into your son try putting that same time and effort into yourself.
My son is now 27 years old and has about 11 months gamble free time. It’s been a long road for him but he is committed to his recovery … mainly through GA. I try to work my own recovery through Gam Anon where I have found incredible support and friendship. Is this something you could try?
Cathyx