Hi Red
Everything you have written chimes with my experience of compulsive gambling and the experiences of so many other F&F families I have known who have lived with an active CG..
My CG admitted I was his target because I was the closest and probably the easiest.
The anger intensified as the addiction got worse and just before he took the leap of faith and went into rehab it raged at its worst ever. I thought his behaviour meant many things but I never really believed it was the addiction that was causing his aggression and threatening behaviour.
When he went on the GMA programme, I admit I thought he was looking for a roof over his head and being entirely honest I was glad he had one that didn’t involve me – someone else could have the worry of him for, (what was at that time), 9 months. I expected him to be thrown out every day when they uncovered the fact that a simple thing like gambling could not turn this boy into someone so unpleasant. I am so glad that I was wrong and that those who could stand back from the frae could see that he was indeed a CG.
I think it is important not to to be distracted from that which appears to be a reasonable assumption with your son. Did he accompany your ex when he gambled? Did he see his father treating you badly?
I am wondering how the holiday in Paris will go – his girlfriend must be at the very least a little concerned but you can do no more.
During the time that he is estranged from you make the most of your hobbies and interests, keep friendships alive. I feel that when those around the CG give up everything because of thinking about their loved one 24 hours a day then the only winner is the addiction. Your son is not his father however much his behaviour seems to say otherwise. Keep those texts going and keep posting.
Velvet
