Hi Red
Well you know not to c o u n t on your ex MIL for support so I suggest you put her firmly out of your mind.
I wasn’t sure how to answer you at first and then I remembered a conversation that I had with my CG when he was finally able to explain to me some of the things that I said that didn’t make a scrap of difference to him but that I had thought at the time were positive words.
I told him I needed him to be honest, that he could tell me whatever was worrying him, I told him I needed him to get help, I told him I needed him to talk to me. He was finally able to tell me that all the time I was telling his needs they were not his needs at all, they were mine – his need was to gamble and to avoid anything that prevented that gamble.
I am so sorry that your delight turned to ashes but it seems to me that removing the word ‘need’ can help us say the right thing. Even now after all these years I find myself stopping when I go to use the word in any situation.
I have to post this without really giving it the thought I would like to as I am on way out for the evening but I wanted to give you a quick reply and to wish you well when you see your son.
I will look for an update tomorrow
V
