Hi Pocket and welcome to the forum. You are not doomed and there is hope to have a gamble free future. In the past when you stopped for so long, you gave up football as it was a trigger for you. It caused you urges. I would say that is probably necessary again for a while anyway. This is very difficult to control on our own without any help, but it can be done. I’ve seen it in instances where people have no one they can rely on. Definitely cut up your credit cards and close your accounts as soon as you refinance. If you fill them up again you will find it difficult to pay your expenses and you risk your apartment you have purchased. Close all your betting accounts. Is there any way to ban from the gambling web sites where you are? Transfer unused pay into an account that requires you to go in to the bank to access it. Or maybe start a savings account for the wedding with your girlfriend and put both names on it where you both have to sign to get it out. You have to try and protect yourself from yourself if that makes any sense. Lock in long term savings in an investment. Give yourself time to think. This is an addiction. And leaving yourself access to money to gamble is like a crack addict trying to carry around crack all day.
I would also ask what led you back to gambling? You said it was peer pressure. Do you have something lined up you will say when you face this pressure again? I say I don’t gamble anymore as I just liked it too much and it liked my money too much. And leave it there. A big no thank you if they persist. Think of what you will say that is comfortable for you.
Keep posting and reading here. Attend a group meeting here or talk to the counselors on the help line. You can have a future! Time to fight for it. Take care,
Laura