Hi NM
As I have said in previous posts if you allow fear to govern your life you will not be able to cope which isn’t helping you or your boyfriend.
Most people get down at some time or another; it could be the weather, a nagging pain or a perceived slight from an acquaintance. Controlling an addiction cause ups and down of emotions and moods because it is very difficult and takes great courage to achieve. If your boyfriend is gambling then it is likely that he will be angry and moody when you mention gambling – but consider this – if he is not gambling, then his heart must sink into his boots when every time he feels a bit down, your first reaction is to ask him about gambling. I can’t think of a caring way you could mention gambling if your boyfriend is struggling with his addiction or feeling a bit blue (for whatever reason).
CGs trusting F&F can take a lot longer than F&F trusting CGs which is why this site, GA, dedicated counsellors and therapists are good. . Do you have a Gamanon group near you, if so it would probably help you a lot to join.
You cannot save your boyfriend; you can only look to your own emotions and save yourself. What you wish is your wish – not his. If he doesn’t want to come on this site or go to GA then allow him to use the tools he got in rehab. He is allowing you to handle his finances and he is saving. He is very understanding when he says that he gets what you feel with his track record. However if he is trying to control his addiction then his track record is immaterial, it belongs in yesterday.
Keep posting
Velvet
