Hi NM
I’m pleased that you recognised that sending texts you are not proud of is counter-productive when a CG is trying to change his life. A CG has to learn to trust those around them when trust will has been in short supply, on both sides, for a long time.
Of course I cannot ‘know’ but it seems to me from your post that one action could have triggered another and I don’t know which came first. What do you think? Have you any real evidence that your boyfriend has been gambling again?
With modern methods of communication we hear every day about politicians, media stars, journalists who misconstrue the written or the spoken word, either unwittingly or deliberately, so it isn’t just CGs who struggle with perception – but it is important, in my view, that F&F do not use old behaviour just as they don’t want their CG loved one to use old behaviour.
If your boyfriend owes money to debtors who are being heavy with him of course he will struggle and I suggest you encourage him to talk to debt collection agencies for advice.
As your boyfriend is being worn down by all the worry and work he is doing to repay his debts then maybe he needs more support. Can he talk to an outreach worker from the rehab he was in? I do know that pressure to comply with well meant deals and promises is difficult so I would suggest that telling him he has another week to stick to the plan would not be a good idea. Ultimatums are always best avoided – ‘unless you are 100% positive that you mean to carry the threat to its full conclusion’.
Only you can know how much this is affecting your life and health, which is why it is important that you look after yourself.
Keep posting
Velvet
