Hi Nick,
You haven’t lost everything you have gained.
You have gained the knowledge that you can build up gamble free time.
You have gained the understanding that there is no such thing as only one bet or any other form of controlled gambling for us.
You have gained the realisation that you need another barrier or barriers for when will-power fails you.
It is horrible right now- the aftermath of gambling always is for us. Perhaps it might be an idea to Read back over the posts when you were abstaining to see how quickly things can improve for us once we stop.
The important thing now is to stop the drain, try not to chase losses and get right back on the wagon.
You can do this !