Hi Monica ,
I have posted on your thread but I will repeat some of it here . Your post really hit home for me – I am fortunate to have my job, but if it were to go for whatever reason, I would be in a very bad position . I would be homeless and completely broke.
It is a sobering thought.
I totally agree – there is no such thing as controlled gambling for me although when I am in action I truly believe I can control it – despite every single time failing to – what is that definition of madness again? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result ..
I have made it to week 3.
I am feeling very supported on here and that has helped I am sure . I have learned also from the chats in group that maybe all those times when I was in a feeble recovery and reminding people who knew only too well about barriers etc , it may not have been helpful to them- but rather annoying .
I guess we all mostly try to help each other – just sometimes out motives do not come across well in print .
My thread feels like a safe space now and for that I am grateful. I am focusing on my continued recovery and I really feel I can do it this time (please do not remind me how often I have said that over the past 8 years). I feel I have lost some friends here in the fall out and it hurts- but it is what it is is . There are many people who refused to take sides (mine included ) and that has increased my respect for them- I like fairness – I always have !
A sincere thank you to the staff of GT (Charles , Monique and Harry ) for their non- judgemental but consistent encouragement . I’m not sure I could exercise the same patience but please know that there have been the most incredible improvements in my life – stopping hasn’t been a sudden thing for me but I have bounced back very quickly from relapses, with your support , therefore limiting the damage .
Life is generally quite good – I still haven’t got the kitchen I have been dreaming of , for a decade and a half , but today I can go out for brUnch , afford nice activities with my son and have a generally nice day.
Can’t complain !