Thank you for your post. I definitely intend to read up on your history since you appear to have quite a thread. I look forward to reading about your journey, and am hopeful that the title of your thread (300 days gf) is about to hit the 500 day mark soon…
Interestingly, root cause analysis is definitely important, but is a challenge to me for many reasons.
On the one hand, I was raised by two amazing parents and was provided a life that many would call “easy”. On the other hand, I’ve dealt with my fair shares of tragedy, from losing my oldest brother when I was six to sustaining multiple major head wounds as a child.
Remarkably, I was able to lead a successful life through my 40+ years (on the surface) while also living this hidden life in the shadows. As we know, us addicts are great at lying to others but especially to ourselves. Of course, the DUI conviction and a few of the gambling stories my friends witnessed somewhat outed my addictions, but if you asked most of my buddies, they would be shocked to think that I have “problems”. Ironically, if you asked their wives, they’d all think we all are going to hell. 😛
The amazing thing is how you called me out on intimacy issues. My defensive-side would argue that I just haven’t found the right woman, but since EVERYONE I know is in a relationship, it’s clear that I have many things I avoid for much deeper reasons than I’m aware of. This is something that is fueling many of my addictive outbursts and is clearly something that I need to take a much stronger look at resolving.
Regardless, I appreciate you taking the time to read and respond to my posts, and I look forward to getting to know you through this forum.
Have a happy and safe gf new year!