Hi Maverick
I could have written your thread, except slots are my poison. I gambled a colossal amount of money one particular night while my little son lay sleeping beside me. I kept glancing at his innocent little face and thinking stop , but I couldn’t once I started. My brain was fried and gambling was the only thing I thought about.
I managed to stay clean for seven months , and started paying off debts when I got a new credit card which I maxed in a night and chased that money for another seven months. Last September I made a huge effort to stop with several times daily support from this site and have had only two slips since ( very costly slips) . I have been gamble free since late December.
I’m explaining this because it is amazing how quickly life seems better once we stop gambling. All my debts are currently bring paid off ( quite slowly), the phone had stopped ringing, the threatening letters have stopped. I feel peaceful and determined.
However, I am few years older than you and I watch my friends drive good cars, have nice homes, upgrade to bigger homes or purchase a holiday home now that their mortgages are coming to an end, and it stings that I have nothing to show for all my years working. I walked past an electrical shop yesterday, and they had an unbelievable package of kitchen appliances at a superb price for people who can’t afford top of the range, and i was stunned by the realisation that I couldn’t even afford one of the appliances, never mind the package… Of course this triggered a huge urge to gamble ..
Despite all this I have peace of mind. My family has become happy very quickly now that I am present with them. The future is looking brighter.
And so it will be for you Maverick. As you stay away from gambling your brain will return to a more normal state. It may be difficult for you right now to plan stuff but that will come in time .
Possibly the best advice I have ever read had come from Mred on you thread..
“write down ways to be unselfish. Such as what can I do for my wife today to make today very special for her like maybe cook dinner for her or do the dishes”
This struck me as a brilliant way to take your mind off gambling , to put time into your family and to rebuild damaged relationships. ( not just for you but for all if us in here)!
Hope my post is not too long winded Maverick.. I just wanted to remind you that things start to look better quite quickly once we stop gambling!!