Hi Mark
Forget the ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’ there is a lot of life in front of you to be enjoyed in a way you would not believe possible at the moment.
It will take time to find your feet. An active addiction goes hand in hand with being reclusive but given time you will make friends and live a different and better life – I know because I have seen it happen.
Look on the misery of your so-called ‘lost years’ as something to build on, an experience that is worth using to ensure a better future. I lived with the addiction to gamble for 25 years until my CG realised that enough was enough and went through the GMA programme, so he had a few more years than you to ‘regret’. He doesn’t dwell in those years but lives happily in control of his addiction. Like him, I use those years for reference only and I can tell you that life is not shit or pointless.
I wish you well on the project
Velvet
