Hi M6,
It feels almost hypnotic at the time it is going on. Now I don’t even enjoy it anymore so don’t know why it still tempts me. I usually agonize the whole time stressing and worrying because I know I am going to lose. Even if I win, I will go back again as soon as possible and lose. You aren’t a pathetic loser. You have developed an addiction to gambling. You didn’t plan this, aspire to this or wish for this. One of the things that keeps us going back is “chasing our losses”. We want our money back! But the best thing you can do is grieve for it and accept it as gone. Money spent on an expensive lesson. Then if you can have someone help you with your money for a while, to keep you accountable, it will help when you have urges to gamble. I’m glad you posted. You are not alone in the struggle. Post more when you have the chance. Take care,
Laura