I am sorry for the situtation you find yourself in right now.
The addiction is making a lot of desisions for you right now. Your post screams I can’t I can’t I can’t. Its finding every excuse ( vaild ones possibly) as to why one thing or another won’t help you.
Did you get a phone list at that meeting? Maybe someone there can give you suggestions as who you could talk to. Maybe someone who goes to that meeting lives in your area and might be willing to give you a ride. Maybe you can get a phone sponser if you can’t get to a face to face meeting.
It is hard to recover on your own. I have no one close that I can share my addictions issues with-I am single with no one besides myself and my 2 cats to come home to. Sites like GT have been my salvation -esp early in recovery.
They only people I can talk about my CG addiction are in the program. No one else understands like someone who has the same addiction.
I know the open chat here is a ghost town now- such a shame as it once was so vibrant. I can usually find someone at safe harbor when I need extra support. http://www.sfcghub.com
praying for you
bettie