Hi Lil
nI feel for you and I can only say that honesty is the best thing, or the worry over your friends will eat away at you. Try and explain to them that at the moment your boyfriend is not in control of himself but that you value their friendship and that you really could do with their support.
nDear Lil you are tough on your boyfriend because you love him. I understand that completely but sadly It isnt usually appreciated by the gambler until they change their lives, when they can look back and see who supported them best.
nHis first thought when you talked to him was that you had made up your mind already a typical response because that is what he thinks you must mean his addiction clouds his mind which stops him thinking logically. His addiction will make him feel worthless and it is hard for him to understand true words of care. Equally his comment about not wanting to be with you is probably just words because he thinks you couldnt possibly want to be with him.
nHow mature you sound and how lucky he is to have you on his side.
nIt is natural to feel apprehensive, facing an addiction takes a lot of courage he will almost certainly never have admitted his feeling of failure to anyone before and it takes a lot of guts to do so but those who understand will know how he feels. He probably thinks that he will be ok soon, that he can stop gambling when he wants to but sadly you and I know that without help he will not get better.
nDont be afraid of being tough being soft will only prolong his addiction. As long as you enable him he has no need to try and change.
nI love the fact that you are trying to be like your old self that is so good in these circumstances and I know how difficult it is. It is easier to slip into being miserable and wanting to question every move the gambler makes but I think it is great when a man can see how good it can be if he seeks recovery.
nI cannot say well done enough Lil.
nPlease keep posting. Maybe you could sit with him while he clicks on to a gambler group or our Helpline Charles will welcome him in a group and will understand him, he has no need to be afraid.
nSpeak soon
nVelvet
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