Hi Leda
Well done collecting knowledge on the addiction to gamble, it will certainly help you cope.
I certainly say that it is the gamble that is the addiction and it has nothing to do with money. Gambling is taking risk, participating in something that might ‘win’ might lose but whichever way it goes, it is the actual gamble that creates the excitement in the brain that causes them to be unable to walk away. Winning and losing fuel the addiction; winning because it gives a CG the tool to gamble further and losing because the addicted brain has to chase the loss. It is the action of gambling that generates the chemicals that juice the CG brain. A ‘win’ to a CG is merely a chance to continue indulging their addiction, so no excitement, a loss is another failure so no excitement but the actual gamble was powerful and it is that feeling that is desired again and again, ad infinitum.
Being F&F does not mean that everyone is kind and trying to do the right thing. I remember ladies in Gam-anon who wanted their husbands to gamble again because they said they had become boring; others hated their CG spouses but were hanging in to make their lives miserable. There were many though who were there to learn by sharing and many who were only too willing to help others. I heard some wonderful outcomes and those were the ones I hung on.
Another way of looking at your husband being prevented from getting a charge put against your property is to explain gently to him that by putting the property in your name it protects him as well as you.
I was fortunate Leda that when my CG changed his life he was willing to help me when I took a course in addiction counselling. He explained to me so many of the things that I had never understood even when it meant telling me that when I thought he was doing something good when he was active – he wasn’t. This has meant that I have not been following the wrong leads when it comes to understanding. I think it is great that you are gaining understanding but I hope you will keep posting your findings so that we can share our knowledge.
I look forward to an update
Velvet