Hi Lambeau
By starting another thread, members and staff don’t always know that you already got a thread running and it is easy for information to be lost so I will reply to you here but bring up your original thread and put the same reply on that to keep your journal running.
Obviously different people have different reactions to the addiction to gamble but I do know that many CGs have a problem with intimacy. Many members and F&F I have known have talked about lack of intimacy since the addiction to gamble took hold. Imagine your CG’s head is full of sand and there is room for anything else – it is often like that with addiction – there is no space for everyday normal thoughts and activities. It is why CGs require the right treatment to control their addition, they have to learn to tip some of the sand (addiction) out, leaving room for decent, normal, honest thought – including showing love and intimacy.
Many F&F become concerned about the amount of porn that appears in the CG life which is often introduced because the CG is concerned about their lack of libido – such a lack is often felt to be just another form of failure instead of being part of the addictive thinking.
Your CG has recognised that he has an addiction and he is trying or has tried to control it – this can result in tremendous feelings of guilt which can affect intimacy. When he controls his addiction, hopefully he will learn to control his feelings of guilt too and worries about his sexual prowess will disappear.
I don’t think you are making excuses for your worry but I do believe that careful discussion is needed.
I am hoping you will pop into the group tomorrow because this is easier to discuss privately.
Velvet
