Hi Killingit just read your posts and others who have contributed here. Some good reads on this thread! Your story is too familiar and painful to read at times with the losses and they way it totally overtakes of life. It is superb you are moving forward. Days turn into weeks and so on.
I have battled with gambling for at least the past 18 years. The last 12 of those it has been heavy. Lost hundreds of 1000s if not more. Throw in also a number of cars a house repo a very successful business and we go well over the golden 1 million mark. All chasing what ? The big win ? The thrill ? The escape ?
These days I walk around in tatty clothes do a job I dislike but it pays and struggle to cover even the basics of life. But am determined as you are to fully overcome this addiction. It starts in the gut and the mind. Getting control over those elements that control us. Like today I so wanna deposit into a casino. My mind tells me I can win. Im ready …. I have some money … I can pay my rent when I win ? I can buy a flight ticket to see my son when I win ? ……..
Then I stop and decide no thanks. I will work a few extra hours and see what gives …. keep fighting and moving forwards. And defo keep posting you write well!!!
All the best John