Hi Katie,
What struck me about your post is when you said I don’t want to break the family. I thought the same way long ago when I was struggling with my father’s addiction. I kept on pushing the ugly of the addiction aside, and kept focused on the good man I always thought of him front and center. I would find happiness in knowing that he is a good person, underneath the ugly selfish addiction. I did this for many years. However, this pressure almost destroyed me, because his addiction was very much part of him. As the years slipped, he became so dedicated to it, that the high marks I had for him were gone. His gambling took any goodness he had left and I was left with a father that almost destroyed me financially.
I am not saying to walk out the door and slam it on your husband but I am saying that you need to do for you and your children. Like Velvet has suggested take walks, notice nature and enjoy the time with your children. Its when you do this you build strength and start to see clearly and you let go of things you cannot control. Just know that things will not get better just having a blind eye, they will get worst and you will find yourself in the darkest times of your life. Unfortunately there will be lots of hurtles to jump and some will kick you to the core of your emotions. However the support here will guide you. Eventually you will have strategies to help you when dealing with a selfish addiction.
There is absolutely nothing you can do to stop your husband from gambling. He has got to want this. Even if he says he wants to he has to commit himself to doing so, a gamble here and there is not acceptance regardless of how small. The only person you can change is yourself. You don’t need to make rash decisions now but you should start thinking about what is best for you and your children.
Take care,
Twilight