[lizbeth4]

Church was good. The people were very nice. I’m going back. But I had a rough day afterwards. A lot of remorse about my recent gambling and the predicament I’ve put myself in. The things I’ve done. Things that are horrible to me. I’ve let so many people down. Would they forgive me if they knew? I can’t even forgive myself. There’s a sadness inside of me, one I can’t rid myself of. I’ve lied and deceived others. Part of me is dead. I can’t gamble again! Again last night, I wanted to go to sleep and not wake up. The easy way out and the selfish way out. I’m trying to come to terms with these feeling. I have a lot of work to do. I just need to believe I’m worth it!