Hi Jonny,
I would say that finding recovery after 20 plus years of hard core gambling makes you an example. Most of us didn’t find recovery right away either. I had friends say to me they were worried. A husband who thought I had a problem, even when i was hiding the best part of it from him. And a Father who followed me to a gambling establishment before. None of those things made me want to stop! I wished i could gamble without problems but I didn’t want to stop! Who knows what it will be for each of us.
I can understand everything you say about your back and past surgeries. People just don’t understand unless they’ve lived it. It’s not just a little back ache. I have sciatic nerve damage from first injury and/or spine surgery that was mostly sensory, all kinds of cutting and burning sensations among others! Some motor issues but not severe. I needed surgery after years of of not knowing I had broken facet joints. Surgeon could only tell me it may have been as result of something born with or could have been from a accident I had when young. This cause further conditions over time such as ruptured disc and another that I can’t pronounce. I had back problems for years, but they had been difficult to diagnose due to doctors making diagnosis of arthritis based on talking to me only and idiot GP not wanting to order xrays for years even when i was in a lot of pain. So I had fusion surgery to correct the whole mess about ten years ago. Anyway, long and short, one fusion usually leads to another! So here I am with another bad joint. I was in excruciating pain from mass that was pressing on my spinal cord but it has shrunk some so have a little relief. I’ve also had other surgery, not back, but it affected my back’s stability. So here I am biding my time. There is a surgical backlog. But at least I feel good enough to be here posting about recovery. So when I can drive again (can’t due to hopefully temporary motor issues in my leg) I won’t catch myself by surprise and run to the nearest slot machine! The best you can do with back problems is see a good physio for a safe exercise plan. A strong core, and good weight maintenance will go a long way. Therapeutic massage can also help with pain and help keep you moving. Make sure they are top people. You don’t want just anybody messing about with your physical self.
I felt much the same about counseling. It had to be someone whom I had a good rapport with and who had dealt with addictions, especially gambling. It helped me immensely and I think it was a part of the success formula for me.
Have you started the new job? hope all is going well. Hold your head high. You have overcome. Keep putting in place all that you have learned and you will remain the new and improved Jonny.
take care,
Laura