Recovery from addiction is a lot of work … whether you are the CG in recovery or the one supporting the gambler. It is also not a straight line. In my experience there is a lot of progress followed by periods of regress. I think that is why we are told to try and develop some boundaries. The boundaries are not meant as punishment for the CG but things that we will not put up with … to protect ourselves. This also helps as we look after the things that we can control and “try” and let go of the things we can’t control. I’m certainly not great at this yet but continue to work at it.
I agree that your ex did not ask for this addiction. I wouldn’t wish it on anybody. It crushes me to see my son struggle with this. Your ex may have just hit his rock bottom whereby he realizes his gambling is a problem,however, it can take time to see real change. Velvet is right… we develop an armour as we have been lied to and manipulated many times so its always in the back of your mind! We are terrified of being hurt again. If we get strong we are able to stand up to the addiction.
