HI Hopeful. I love your name and you have every reason to be hopeful. I think you have, like many others on here, a gambling disorder. I’m not sure most doctors know how to go about helping people with this disorder. In fact I’m not sure how many counsellors know.
You have taken a great positive step in coming on here. You will get lots of support from staff and users on the site alike.
Somethings you can do for yourself right away: MAT..money access time.
If you remove one of these things you can’t gamble. So you could maybe get someone’s help in managing your money, cut up all cards, only carry the cash you need.
You could put a gambling block on your computer, self ban from gambling establishments etc.
Today is day 1 and a good day to achieve all this.
You will get lots of support on here and the groups where you can chat to others are really good .
The Important thing to remember is that, although it seems overwhelming now, this disorder is only a small part of you. You are a whole person with many qualities.
Like you I managed to keep my head above water financially so it was easier to cover up, but of course I always just wanted to stop. I have a family who love me and it hurt me so much that this disorder at times seemed to take over.
i am now in remission, mostly thanks to all the support I received on this site, and you will be writing the same soon.
Welcome and well done for joining