Hi Gibbo, good for you for coming here mate, you obviously do need some help. As with any addiction gambling can destroy you and your family if you let it. The good news is you can learn to live life without it.
I am a compulsive gambler (CG), I havn’t gambled in any way shape or form for quite a few months, and I live a contented life without getting any gambling urges whatsoever.
You might think “so what?” Well I too was addicted to casinos in my late teens, (roulette, blackjack and poker), and the bookies I also had stupendous wins…the stupendous wins went straight back..and didn’t do me any good I went to prison several times in my early twenties because I committed crimes to feed my gambling. Then although I still gambled and frequently committed crimes I never got into trouble with the police for 17 years, until I got hooked on those bloody machines, then crash bang wallop 18months for stealing £17000 and spending it over 5 days in a casino. So I can empathise with you a great deal.
It sounds like we both got hooked in our teens, many CG;s started gambling in their teens. Many of us also won big that first time. But remember this; that same night you went to the casino many others throughout the world were experiencing their first gambling experience, the vast majority would have lost their £40. You lost yours. You didn’t lose £4800 the next day you just gave it back. At that age, as mature and “grown up” as we think we are, our emotions are still developing. The situation with your dad and the athletics is causing you stress, then all of a sudden you’re taken away from this when you go to the casino. You are not unique in your situation.
Since 2010 I’ve had some long periods without any sort of gambling, but stupidly continued going back after 5 or 6 months. I think I’ve got my finger on the pulse now though. Its annoying because I know that it doesn’t have to be hard to give up gambling. It is only hard because we make it hard for ourselves. But for a compulsive gambler, gambling will not solve problems only create them.
If you’re getting counselling but consider a money shop loan to gamble with, it can’t be helping too well. Have you thought about a different counsellor? And be entirely honest with yourself, do you really honestly want to quit, or do you hope that you’ll be able to gamble sensibly in the future? You do need to be very honest with yourself and if you genuinely want to quit I would highly recommend you take your place at Gordon Moody. They can really help you to change the way you see things, it will help you if you let it.
Nobody needs to gamble, and if you can get through one day without it there’s no reason you can’t get through the next.
All the best.
Geordie.