Woke up feeling stronger today and your words really help. All that you say is true. I will tell him this I know as the truth will help set me free from this distructive addiction. I have noticed that there has been a shift in my thinking this time round, in particular calling myself a CG and always being a CG. Did think this could be controlled, but it can’t, not ever…..reading through others threads I can see the journey, thoughts and feelings I have experienced are not unique. Thoughts like, if I win lotto, I can off my debts and go to Vegas, if I don’t win, I’ll kill myself, if he leaves me I’ll Drive off a cliff and make it look like an accident but I’ll have to euthanise my beloved Burmese cat as she would never be able to be rehomed because of her timid and nervous nature. So many dark and destructive thoughts……so yes, I have a plan but at this stage no intentions of following through. Another sick day today but a walk on the beach and some gardening planned. As a counsellor, yes I know what I need to do so why is it so dam hard??? Time to cuddle and bury my face in my beautiful Burmese girl.
