Hi Erika
I can hear that you believe you mean to carry out your ultimatum this time but knowing how many times I meant to carry mine out, only to crumble at the last minute, leads me to ask you if you are positive that you can walk away if he doesn’t change?
Many CGs give lip service to gain time but It is possible that your gambler (CG) means to/ wants to change. As yet however he does not seem to have taken any active steps towards actually doing anything about his addiction and the time will soon pass between now and the 21st. He has ignored your threats to report him or to supply a replacement for you which implies to me he that he thinks he is free to carry on.
Facing the addiction takes a lot of courage and many CGs find it difficult to get enough courage and determination to actually do something, so they use excuses and play for time until, all too often, all is lost
Do I understand rightly that your gambler is an attorney who has access to the client’s money and is he therefore, in effect stealing their money. Are there any friends or family member you can talk to about the devastation he is wreaking.
I cannot tell you what to do but I do know that fighting with an active CG is almost certainly a waste of your energy – his addiction is stopping him hearing reason and logic – your words seem to be falling on stony ground.
It is impossible to predict that he will wake up – if there was a crystal ball then life would be so much easier but there is no magic involved – the only person who can save your gambler is himself, you cannot save him.
I can understand your concern for your 6 employees – what do you intend to do when they are due to be paid – is there money to pay them with? You are in an incredibly difficult situation with others depending on your gambler while you are aware of his lack of responsibility. Are you protected from liability if it becomes known that you are aware of his actions?
I am concerned for your health and I think you have hit the nail on the head when you say “he’s letting me go because the addiction is so strong that he can’t think clearly.”
I would not be writing to you if I didn’t know that the addition to gamble can be controlled but – and it is a big ‘BUT’ – although I know the addiction to gamble can be controlled, I also know it can take those who love them all the way to the bottom if they allow it.
Maybe you could tell him you have had to seek support for yourself and that you are aware there is a lot of help and understanding for him on this site, in GA and/or with dedicated counselling’
Please write again soon and keep reading other posts, learn as much as you can about his addiction because knowledge will give you power over it.
My thoughts are with you and whatever you decide to do will be understood on this forum.
Velvet
