Hi Erekle and welcome to the site. Well done on looking for help. As you mention considering suicide the first thing I have to do is give you this link…..
There is always someone you can talk to. I can promise you though that you can stop gambling and that there is a lot of life after gambling.
Read the other stories here, you will see a lot that you will realte to. You will also see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?
We also have live groups to talk about gambling recovery options and a one to one helpline as well.
You can stop gambling, you can have a great life moving forward. You are no longer alone with this problem, keep posting here and welcome to the community.