Hi Enough
nThe hardest thing for those who love someone with a gambling addiction is the loss of trust and that is something that can only be won back with time.
nBeing ignorant of the addiction makes coping difficult. A loved one can do everything wrong for all the right reason. It is a bewildering, frightening and isolating experience but the right knowledge can throw light and hope into dark places.
nMost gamblers do not know how to, or want to, share their thoughts because of unnecessary feelings of guilt, many loved ones do not know how to listen. The thing that made the most difference to me was finding someone who understood me. With her support I was able to learn to listen and to cope. I was finally able to support my loved one and myself, the right way.
nThe early days of recovery are the toughest and you need to look after yourself. It is hard to support another, adequately, at this time. Maybe you could discuss with your wife the possibility of Gam-Anon, (the sister group of GA) where friends and family can share their experiences, hopes and coping mechanisms. I hail from the F&F section of this site and I would be delighted to support your wife. The forum is always available or she can talk to me in any F&F group, which is private.
nI know that you can take control of your addiction and live a wonderful healthy life perhaps an even better life for having had this terrible experience but I know how difficult it is for loved ones to believe.
nIt is often an excellent idea to get someone to look after your finances and make you accountable. This is not treating you as a child but is an acceptance of your courage and determination to change.
nI wish you well
nVelvet
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