Hi EKW and welcome to the forum. Your story of gambling addiction and how it makes us behave and feel is a familiar one. Our details may be different and the amounts may be different but it’s devastation and the havoc it wreaks are the same. The suicidal thoughts, the thoughts of criminal activity to bail oneself out or even feeling like your losing your mind are all the same. It sounds like you are taking a lot of positive steps. Admitting to your auntie that you gambled, trying to add physical activity back into your life and reaching out here. There are more things that you can do. Obtain credit counseling from a non profit group if you can. Find counseling, is there anything offered through university? Join Gamblers Anonymous. I’m sorry I just missed you in chat. I will keep checking for you. And please keep posting.
Take care, Laura