Hi Dani,
I empathize with what you’re going through and the pain you are feeling. It’s quite overwhelming. I have been there too. Life has a way of really beating us up sometimes. I’m glad to hear your husband found you and that your baby didn’t lose her mother. I’m glad to hear you’ve slowed down your habit and are expressing yourself on this site.
My thoughts to you would be:
1. Turn over all finances to your husband if he isn’t a gambler.
2. Ban yourself from all websites and casinos
3. Get gamble block for your computer and phone.
4. Go to GA and get a sponsor to talk to. It does help and although the sessions seem like a pain to go to you feel somewhat refreshed and better afterwards. Try one and let me know what you think
5. Forgive yourself and let go of the past. That’s what I need to do now as well. Focus on the future and be the person you thought you’d be when you were younger. Be that person and I will try to as well.
Much love,
Jon