Hi Charlester, fantastic post and great new about GMA. I am also on the waiting list, and that means I have to start taking action about my liabilities, such as the office I rent etc.
I feel lucky in that my gambling has only gone on for 3 years (although I had gambled before that my prevoius compulsions were few and far between such as aged 20 for 6 months, 1 night at the age of 28 and then nothing until 3 years ago when it went mad).
But like everyone, I have lost almost everything, most importantly my sanity. Everytime I gamble again I think “I’m gonna do it differently this time” but as soon as I gamble and then stop (up or down) I only think about the next time I can gamble, and it makes me so unproductive in between I am desperate to gamble again.
Please stay on the site, there are amazing people here. They have helped me so much. There is so much hurt here and yet so much humanity. It strikes me as quite weird the bond that CGs have for each other – it’s like a secret club, albeit one you wouldn’t want membership for , but membership we have and the dues are high.
After almost 2 weeks since my last binge I am feeling better, though the last 2 weeks have been hard with my mind pummeling itself with retribtion of what could have been.
You seem very much aware of your illness and the damage done. I hope you get on the course, and that you can put it behind you. You seem very smart so once you can get this under control you can do anything.
Thanks for posting on my blog, what you wrote was amazing.
See you around in a gamble-free world.
Much love