Hi Cat
You know the only person who can control your husband’s addiction is him and you are angry because he is not doing so and you cannot save him. I would imagine a lot of your anger is because you have faced your demons – so why can’t he?
Do you have an Al-anon near you to support you?
It is easy to assume that because you have controlled your addiction you will understand how to cope with living with someone with addiction but I don’t think that follows at all.
Pulling away in the sense of protecting your mind from his problem is probably a good way forward in that you must not allow his addiction to pull you down. However pulling away generally is possibly making him feel unwanted, unlovable and unworthy, all of which are excuses/reasons/triggers for him to drink. Attending AA and Alanon together hopefully might let him know you want to understand and support him.
Do you ever have a drink with him Cat?
It will take courage and strength to deal with your husband in a healthy way but you can do it but please protect yourself first because your health matters – if you go down because of his addiction you will not be able to protect yourself and ultimately you being in control of your addiction is the best thing you can do for both of you.
Velvet
