Hi C21,
Debt can seem unsurmountable but there are agencies out here which help you for free- Step Change is one.
Perhaps if you speak to these in the morning you feel will more positive as you will have taken action to help sort things . I believe that there is a solution to every debt – just sometimes we need help finding it.
You could also ring gamcare who can organise free counselling for you .
C21 – I know only too well how easily this addiction can drag us down but you have inner strength you don’t realise- you have handled this problem for a considerable length of time on your own- now it’s time to reach out and let others help you .
Keep posting- you have everything to live for – you are a good person as it obvious from how you are trying to protect your family from this .