Hi ButtercupKeepUp
I am not surprised you are tired – living with a person with an addiction who refuses to get help can be soul destroying – but in my opinion, in gaining knowledge of your husband’s addiction and looking after yourself, you will learn to cope ensuring your future is safe for you and your children.
Your husband’s addiction and behaviour is not your fault – there was nothing you could have done to stop his addiction. He is controlled by his addiction but you do not have to be – you can re-take control of your life. Sadly it is common for F&F to fight one way battles, they take on the fight to protect their loved one and those around them but in doing so they unwittingly enable their loved one’s addiction. When the CG in my life took control of his addiction he told me that as long as I enabled him and fought his battles, there was no reason for him to take on his demons. He wanted to gamble, he didn’t want to fight to overcome his problem. He didn’t have a plan to hurt me but his distorted addictive thinking blamed me for any perceived problems.
I’m not going to write anymore in this first reply to you – I would like to wait and hear from you again. I am sorry you couldn’t make the group tonight – perhaps on Thursday between 10 pm and 11 pm we could ‘meet’ in cyber space and ‘talk’ in real time. Nothing said in the group appears on the forum. In the meantime though, please post again.
I am back now after a break and will walk with you for as long as you want me to do so. If I didn’t know that your husband’s addiction could be cured I wouldn’t be here but I know how important ‘your’ health and happiness are for you, your children and ultimately for your husband.
Velvet
