Hi Ashya
I can hear that you feel that you have tried everything to make your boyfriend stop gambling but until now you have not tried this site, so I am hoping that this will be, not just the last resort but the resort that gives you the support you need to help you through this difficult time.
You have described the roller-coaster that is the addiction to gamble and I know it is a brutal ride. I cannot tell you what to do because it is important that you make the decisions for yourself, however, I do feel that it is important that you have a separate account of which your boyfriend has no knowledge in which you can save for your future. I know it is difficult to hide money and compulsive gamblers appear to be able to find information on hidden accounts but this is usually due to a lack of security. It is sad but it is important not to trust an active gambler however much you would like to believe in him. Your boyfriend is not willing to take responsibility for his actions so ‘you’ must put yourself first and take care of you. It is important that your pin number is never revealed.
You write that you are in a rural community and that you do not have any friends around you but are there a any churches or community buildings you can attend to meet other people and possibly find friendships? The CGs (compulsive gambler’s) addiction takes away self-confidence from those who love them, it is easy to become isolated. I can hear your feeling of isolation in your post. Finding someone to talk to seems to me to be important to your situation. Is there a Gam-anon group in your area? Gam-anon is the sister group of Gamblers anonymous and it was at a Gam-Anon group where I found the support I needed many years ago. This site has changed many lives for the better but physically sitting with another person, who is willing to listen without judgement, can be incredibly supportive too.
Has your boyfriend ever accepted that he has a problem or sought help?
I am going to stop now because it has been far too long since you received our welcome message and I want to hear from you again.
I think you have come to the right place. I do care and I hope you will feel less alone when you have read this reply
Velvet