Hi and well done on looking for help. Read the other stories here, you will see a lot that you will realte to. You will aslo see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?
It helps to take things one day at a time. One thing jumps out at me though as typical of the thoughts of a compulsive gambler:
“….. and swear off gambling until I am able to pay off my credit cards, nurse my investment portfolio….”
Think about it, you are planning to stay off gambling UNTIL things are ok? What then, go back to gambling and start digging another hole?
Does your mum know that you gambled the investment? Trying to keep losses/debts hidden has sent many person back to gambling.
Keep posting and let us know the steps you are taking. Stay gamble free and you will make that trip to Japan. Gamble free we can do pretty much anything we set our minds to.