Hi Amp
If there was a magic pill to stop the addiction to gamble this site would not exist – unfortunately there isn’t and it is only with acceptance and then treatment that the addiction can be controlled.
‘Taking’ a CG (compulsive gambler) to therapy is a waste of time; your boyfriend has to want to stop for himself and there is nothing you can do to save him if he doesn’t want to be saved.
I hope you will keep posting and learn about the addiction to gamble so that you can gain the knowledge to help you make the right decision for you. A compulsive gambler will always be a compulsive gambler, there is no cure but they can control their addiction. I wouldn’t be writing to you if I didn’t know many CGs who are living wonderful gamble-free lives.
Only you can know how far you will go, I know that love gets in the way of doing what is right sometimes but love will not conquer all with this addiction.
I suggest you download the 20-Questions from the Gamblers anonymous website and ask him to look at them – it might help him appreciate that he does have a problem but that it is recognised and there is a lot of support available for him.
I am glad that you are living apart as it will make it easier for you to cope with your situation; it is always harder when it is in your life 24 hours a day.
I cannot comment on his parent’s attitude, I know that many parents feel at a loss when their child is addicted to gambling and often, understandably, do and say all the wrong things.
I hope you will pop into the F&F group on Tuesday between 22.00-23.00 hours UK time, it would be great to talk in real time and it is private.
I am sorry I cannot offer you an answer to your situation; I can only support you and walk with you for as long as you want me to do so, while you work out what it is that ‘you’ want from your life.
Maybe you could tell him that you have sought help for you – many CG do not think that their loved ones need support, believing the problem to be all about them.
Speak soon
Velvet
