Hi Alliesmum,
Most of us have been there , and I know for me it always takes me a while I am face writing about it on the threads .
The best advice I can give is that which Harry (GT) gave me – he said a slip doesn’t have to be a full relapse .
I get that feeling really bad afterwards – but I so admire how you have immediately taken steps to get those barriers set up again – your honesty with your husband is so admirable .
You will beat this you know.
I understand the urges become less frequent and less intense .
Don’t be too hard on yourself – now of us are perfect – you are working hard on recovery .
My last slip was when my husband forgot an unblocked laptop- I have since set my barriers higher and now have no card (following your example).
I hope you feel better soon – I know how low it can bring us .