I am learning lessons.. big lessons, feel like this is the biggest learning curve of my life and ive had a few. This is huge, something is changing.. i feel today for the first time in a long time i have my head in recovery. I dont have a foot in the casino and head in recovery i have my head in recovery. Things are changing. I am going to try really hard to let it all go.. fresh start, new beginning. I have so many regrets i came to realize, i should have done this years ago, that etc.. if only, what if.. i realize i have been watching my life go by and i am sick of it.
I am really waking up, not sure whats happened, maybe an awakening, maybe insanity, il choose the first of the two.
Im ready to give my recovery everything i have again, its finding balance for me, thats a big one. Ive found an enthusiasm this morning that i have really been missing. I have made whopping mistakes, i have wasted a lot of time and money and hurt myself in a huge way. No more. I am going to hang on to recovery this time. I am not going to concern myself with time, just going to avoid that next bet and get on with life as best i can. Pay my debts in a manageable way, stop beating myself up… Im ready..
P