Hi Addicted to Pain
I was about to move your post to ‘My Journal’ when right at the end I saw you were basically writing to Chamomile and I have left it where it is.
You seem to be saying you have tried everything but I believe there has to be a different way for those who are determined enough. On your way through reading Chamomile’s thread I am sure you noticed one from Paul 2017 who is waiting for a space in the Gordon Moody Association (GMA) rehab. This is a place that I have tremendous faith in – it isn’t an easy programme, it is challenging but if you really want to change your life I suggest you perhaps look down in the forums for the one entitled ‘GMA residential treatment Q&A’.
Chamomile has not given up on you yet so why not take the biggest gamble of all and accept recovery – ok so it hurts but then your life is hurting you every day now. You will feel a void but with the support she is offering maybe you could learn to fill that void and it doesn’t last forever, unlike the pain of addiction. I remember another member years ago whose partner had multiple addictions just as you have. They were not in this country and I can’t remember what path he took to find his way forward but he never gave up and when he had been gamble-free, drug-free and alcohol-free for 4 years they married. She popped back to the forum a couple of years later to say how good life was.
As I said to Chamomile there are no such things as crystal balls and I don’t know what your outcome will be but in my own experience the gambling addiction can be controlled. I know that the CG that I love will be a CG all his life and every day he has to reaffirm that just for today he will not gamble but he is happy and lives a very full life. For my own part I trust him that he will look after himself and that I cannot do it for him.
This forum will always be here for Chamomile. Perhaps you could talk to our Helpline and/or join our CG only groups – both are great and they are anonymous. The Helpline will also give you loads of information on GMA. Whatever you decide to do I wish you well.
Velvet
