Hi, I’m not a shrink or qualified to give pyschological advice and this is just my opinion.
Firstly, it’s commendable that have admitted that you’d like to stop and have reached out to this forum. That’s a good start.
You mention distrust. On that basis, I would say that you need to tackle this at source, and that is funding. Nominate someone (your wife or a close relative) to have visibilty of your bank accounts so you are less tempted to fund the sites. Explore applying blocks on funding from your bank account – in some countries your bank can block ‘gambling’ transactions. Pay off and close any credit cards or risky sources of funding. Give your wife access to your credit score files with alerts enabled. These steps will be extremely painful to a gambler but try to think of the end result – more time with your wife, a better quality of life and less opportunites to lapse.
Try to remember that trust will not build up over time if you lapse. These measures will give your wife or family a degree of control over the situation and remove some of the helplessness they may feel.
Try to find other stimulating hobbies and involve your wife as much as possible since a mutual hobby will be great for you both.
I wish you all the best.