Hey Monica,
I’m playing catch up but happy that we have been connecting some in chat as it keeps me in the loop. You’ve got a lot going on and lots of thoughts going on!
GA – every group is a little different it seems from the various descriptions I’ve heard on this site in comparison to mine. There is only one GA group within a two hour radius so my choice is limited. I happened to be very lucky I think in that I had a functional supportive group. Every meeting probably has traditions that people are a little uncomfortable with. I guess it’s a matter of deciding whether the support on the whole is healthy. A supportive group don’t mind small adaptations. Sometimes people in my group will say they have an addiction problem instead of saying they are Compulsive Gamblers. That whole label thing we’ve hashed around before. I liked that we would do the daily reading and then a person could give their thoughts during round table. Sometimes it didn’t fit me and I would voice how I felt about the statement and where I was coming from personally. IE Big shot mentality, although I’ve come to think I did have it in certain ways different than the average big shot gambling bear! it would sound more like they were describing my partner’s behaviour not my own sometimes in the reading! One of our group who often led meetings would say, take the best and leave the rest. In my mid twenties I attended two other 12 step programs that had a different look at things. Al Anon, which is for people who’s spouses have a drinking problem. My husband didn’t have a drinking problem but I thought he had a drug problem and that was the closest thing I had use of. I also started attending Adult Children of Alc0holics which I was, and it comes from a more supportive point of view. Link for anyone who may be interested: https://adultchildren.org/literature/problem/
So, sorry very long ramble to say use the meeting as a tool for you from your perspective. And use the face to face support to help give you what you need!
Counseling sounds good as well. Unresolved childhood traumas can most definitely stay buried under the surface.
Ending on a high note you have made amazing progress Monica. Even all those days you just hung on, you didn’t let it slip away and that was progress. Hugs Monica, hope you have a lovely evening.
Laura
P.S. I slept in, woke up to a lovely clean house. My sister in law stayed for a chat after and what she confided in me helped to melt some of the anger I had been holding on to about the in laws. Even though they constantly snub my husband it turns out that is a greater blessing! Cryptic I know. Chat in group.