Hey Brother,
My story is similar to yours in how long and how much we’ve gambled. I’m on day 6 again myself. This life we’ve created isn’t fun is it? The truth and only truth is listening to your in we self. Does it like the person that gambles? Does it want to do something else? Listen to it. Mine says gambling is bad, that is hurts me, that I wish I had control over it. That i should be Doug something else with my time. I relapsed about 5 times this year gambling away $100k. I hate it too. But that money is gone and I’m unfortunately a compulsive gambler. That means that I can’t gamble because I can’t stop. Pretty simple, I can’t stop until it’s gone… I need to know that. Then and only then can I just not do it. I gave all finances to a family member. I’ve sold a few things. I’m working a plan. Things will get better.
You need to make up your mind if you want to really stop. Once you do that first day is a mother then it slowly gets better. Motivational speeches have also been helpful.
As VERA says, put time between yourself and your last best. Or last thought of the debt. The money is gone and thinking about it and the wasted opportunities and time is only going to cause more pain. Think about one day at a time and only one day.
If you had never gambled would you like yourself? If they answer is anywhere close to yes I think the answer is to stop not just for the money but to get your life back.
Jon