Hope, I am not for one second condoning your son’s behaviour, but as a CG, I can feel the hell he is going through right now. I often suggest the “tough love” approach, but I would say to you “go easy “. He knows he is in deep s*** . Everything is closing in on him. In my book, you don’t kick someone when they are down. Not even a horrible ol’ CG. Is there any chance you can call a family meeting and tell him you want to help him? Without enabling him of course. A GA meeting might be what he needs…..haven’t read the whole history but alarm bells and scary memories went off in my head when I read your last few posts. As sick as this may sound, I had to wipe the grin off my face when I visualized the scenario where your husband walked in and saw the vacant TV space. I know it’s not funny at all. I could just imagine your son “lugging” the TV all the way to the pawn shop under his coat……Let’s hope the day will come, when you and he can look back and have a good laugh about this too. ….I remember coming home from yet another gambling fiasco a few years ago and putting my car on a “For sale” site. At 3am and checking every 5 minutes for a buyer!!
CGs just don’t think straight when it comes to gambling.
Your son needs help. I hope and pray he will wise up soon. Asking a CG what his/her plans are to pay off debt is the scariest question on earth. It’s like holding somebody by the throat and asking them what are their plans to breath.
There is a very fine line between support and enablement. I really feel for you in this situation. I am the mother of a “wayward” son who is definitely my ticket to heaven. I am also a CG so “tickets” are out of bounds.
The only thing I would say is keep the communication open. CGs have no boundaries when we are in action. Don’t hesitate to inform him if he carries out any more illegal acts ie stealing your property, he could find himself in the police station. CGs withdraw and become reclusive for many reasons. When I isolated and alienated myself from everybody, my prayer was “dear God don’t let them ignore me in the same way I’m ignoring them”!
Isolating oneself can often be an unheard cry for help.
Keep telling him THERE IS HELP AVAILABLE.
Show him this post if you think it might help.
Over and out!
